my parents still haven't got used to it completely. they will live in a state of denial forever. all you can do is call and write and hope that one day they understand. in the end, they get it but they are just forever gonna be sad.
nothing short of staying home is really going to get them to change their minds....they just will slowly get used to it...
Gillian
· 1 year ago
Christine, You have touched on one of the points that we are struggling with - and we haven't told our family yet! We, as you have said, want to be sensitive to not dismiss what most other people find 'normal' but at the same time we want our family and friends to be excited for us. I think it does become more difficult as we get older and farther away from the 'roaming 20's' (we are 40) - there is a sense that we won't be able to get back what we've worked so hard for so far...and I wonder if I want it back at all.
Christine
· 1 year ago
@Matt: That's what I was afraid of. Unfortunately it's just one of the costs of doing something different than what people expect.
@Gillian: That is one of the reoccuring themes in my conversations-- how long can you do this and not throw away your career. For me, I would guess that anything under a year is easily explainable. After that, I start to lose touch with collegues, and since I work in software, my knowledge grows stale very quickly as new versions come out. I'm not too concerned though because I can't picture myself running back to this field any time soon.
Julie
· 1 year ago
I totally respect Matt's answer, and I'll add a hopeful note. I was super worried about my parents' reaction. After all, they'd just finished paying for my MSW, and no sooner did I earn it (and not go to the graduation ceremony) then I was blowing the field--and, by extension--my whole professional future off.
But! My parents have adjusted and are, I think, truly happy for me. I think they understand that I have found my true calling, and that really does make them happy.
I think I actually felt closer to my family when I was living in Africa. My day-to-day life in America can often be quite dull giving us little to talk about, but when I was in Africa, they had millions of questions about everything new and exciting. I was craving information about home and would tear open every letter or would jump for the phone in rare instances it that it rang. Back in the states, I seem to take everything for granted. I know when it comes time for me to move abroad again they won't be happy, but it's important for family to understand that some people cannot stay still.
NP
· 1 year ago
Thanks for writing this post. This ring so true to me and my family and I haven't even left yet!
Stacy
· 1 year ago
Your second paragraph reminded me of a post on Vagabondish, especially in the comments section of the post. I thought you might enjoy it: http://www.vagabondish.com/why-the-idea-of-grow... I'm so glad I StumbledUpon your blog today, and I'm looking forward to reading more.
All Comments
nothing short of staying home is really going to get them to change their minds....they just will slowly get used to it...
You have touched on one of the points that we are struggling with - and we haven't told our family yet! We, as you have said, want to be sensitive to not dismiss what most other people find 'normal' but at the same time we want our family and friends to be excited for us. I think it does become more difficult as we get older and farther away from the 'roaming 20's' (we are 40) - there is a sense that we won't be able to get back what we've worked so hard for so far...and I wonder if I want it back at all.
@Gillian: That is one of the reoccuring themes in my conversations-- how long can you do this and not throw away your career. For me, I would guess that anything under a year is easily explainable. After that, I start to lose touch with collegues, and since I work in software, my knowledge grows stale very quickly as new versions come out. I'm not too concerned though because I can't picture myself running back to this field any time soon.
But! My parents have adjusted and are, I think, truly happy for me. I think they understand that I have found my true calling, and that really does make them happy.
Julies last blog post..“El Otro Picasso/The Other Picasso”
I'm so glad I StumbledUpon your blog today, and I'm looking forward to reading more.
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